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5 Things You Should Never Say After Your Wedding

Buyer’s remorse is a real thing, but you don’t have to feel it about your wedding. By asking the right questions and listening other couples’ regrets you can avoid some common mistakes that couples make in planning their wedding. Here are 5 things that you should never say after your wedding.

I wish that I had spent more on my photographer

When looking for a photographer for my own wedding I remember hearing a story from everyone, “I hired my friend” or “my uncle is a photographer” or even “we had someone gift us their photography services”, but, while all unique in different ways, the one thing that was consistent between all of these stories was the ending. “I wish we hadn’t done that.”

The unfortunate reality when it comes to choosing a photographer for your wedding is that you get what you pay for. The price point is, obviously, more for a professional than your uncle, but what you are paying for is more than just the title of “professional”. You are paying for experience and knowledge, a refined style and product, professionalism, reliability, and expertise that you can trust to capture all of the details and emotions of your wedding day. There are important factors to consider when choosing your wedding photographer, things that you can look at when choosing someone with experience: their photographic style, galleries, and reviews to name a few. I wrote a more extensive blog post on how to choose a wedding photographer that you can check that out here.

2. Why didn’t I let the venue run the show?

While it may be tempting to book the bare bones of a venue and attempt to personally manage every aspect of your wedding from that point forward, you are almost certainly going to regret this. After dealing with multiple contracts and juggling a thousand other details you will stumble into your wedding day less as a bride and more as a manager. Instead of soaking in the moments you will be sending your sister to grab the extra napkins and telling your Aunt Susan for the thirteenth time where to find the bottles of Prosecco.

Over at Stonefields Estate they understand how important it is that you let the venue run the show. They promise their couples that “Our team will coordinate every detail, from the moment you arrive until your last guest leaves. All you need to do is soak up the atmosphere and create some memories.”

Kylie Best, the Customer Relations Officer at Stonefields Estate reminds couples that,

”Booking a full-service venue for your wedding day offers peace of mind not only for couples, but also for their family and wedding party. Knowing that a team of experienced professionals are taking care of every detail while you and your entourage are relaxing and sipping pre-ceremony cocktails is invaluable. This leaves everyone with just one job – to be present and soak up every moment of the biggest celebration of their lives.

There is also something to be said about the impact that choosing an all-inclusive venue has on the lead up to the wedding as well. Booking a one-stop-shop venue equates to fewer contacts, and thus fewer emails and coordination on your part leading up to the big day. Your time and energy can be focused on dreaming up, creating and experiencing the day of your dreams.”

3. If Only I had eloped…

The pandemic pushed this already a growing trend into the limelight. I have offered an elopement package for over 10 years at this point and have photographed countless couples who chosen this route over a big event. There are many factors that go into choosing whether to elope or throw a big party and, at the end of the day, there isn’t a wrong answer, but what you don’t want is to have not honestly considered your options before your wedding day. So entertain those “wild” ideas of just throwing down the 101 checklists for your wedding and heading down to City Hall- or better yet, grab a photographer and officiant and jump into a canoe and get it done.
I am not saying that you need to drop the party altogether, in fact, many couples opt for just a smaller scale wedding- a micro wedding, so to speak. You can still go to the park and tie the knot with just a handful of people and then throw a slightly larger party at your favourite restaurant following your elopement ceremony. Or, do it all at the restaurant! The reality is, there are endless options and no rule book for how your wedding needs to happen. So own it. Make it your own, and whether you go for the big party or the intimate ceremony, be sure that you have considered all of your options before you tie the knot.

4. I shouldn’t have trusted my cousin with a playlist on spotify

While you may have impeccable taste in music and know exactly what you want to hear, you need to remember that your favourite song might not pull your Grandmother onto the dance floor. This is one reason that a professional DJ is a must on your wedding day. Mark Layne from Pulse Entertainment understands why a Spotify playlist just wont cut it and has some sage advice for couples as they consider their options when it comes to wedding day music curating. “If your song selections aren’t working and the dance floor is empty, will a Spotify list (or whomever is “in charge” of it) smoothly transition to a different song, genre or vibe?

While prioritizing your requests, a good wedding DJ will also be able to read the room, work in guest requests, and include their own input based on their experience. A great DJ plays the songs your crowd wants to hear, and the ones they didn’t know they wanted to hear.

Beyond just the dance floor, You are going to have some important songs during various formalities at your wedding. Don’t burden your cousin or wedding planner with playing your ceremony music or other special songs at just the right moment. An experienced DJ will work with the venue and other vendors to make sure the timing is perfect.  

Even if your venue has their own sound system, having an experienced DJ utilize it and manage any microphone levels is a must. A prepared DJ will also have back-up equipment with them on site, just in case any issues arise.” 




Mark further advises couples, “You might see using Spotify as a way to cut costs, but, on average, the cost of a DJ is approximately 5% of a total wedding budget. With such a vital role in the success of your event, hiring a professional to get the job done right is worth it.”

5. I can’t believe that I tried To DIY my wedding

Brittany Bested is the mastermind behind Wild Bloem Studios and she knows that planning a wedding is an incredibly intricate and emotional journey. While some couples may be tempted to DIY their wedding planning and design, there are numerous compelling reasons why investing in a full-service wedding planner and designer is a superior choice. Here are a few reasons that she presents for why you are better off not attempting to DIY your wedding.

  1. Expertise and Experience: Professional wedding planners and designers bring a wealth of knowledge and experience to the table. They have a deep understanding of the industry, know the best vendors, and are adept at handling any challenges that may arise. For example, they can advise on the best venues based on your vision and budget and troubleshoot any logistical issues on the day of the event.

  2. Time-Saving: Planning a wedding is a time-consuming process that requires meticulous attention to detail. By hiring a full-service wedding planner and designer, couples can save countless hours of research, coordination, and decision-making. Instead of getting bogged down in the minutiae of planning, they can focus on enjoying the engagement and looking forward to their big day.

  3. Stress Reduction: Planning a wedding can be stressful, particularly for couples juggling busy schedules or dealing with other life commitments. A professional wedding planner and designer acts as a buffer between the couple and the stresses of planning, handling everything from vendor communication to timeline management. This allows couples to relax and savour the excitement of their engagement without getting overwhelmed by the details.

  4. Creative Vision and Design Expertise: Wedding planners who offer design services are masters of creativity and aesthetics. They can take your vision for your wedding and turn it into a reality, ensuring that every detail is cohesive and visually stunning. From choosing the perfect colour palette to curating personalized decor elements, they bring an artistic flair to the planning process that elevates the entire event.

  5. Attention to Detail: Weddings are made up of countless small details, from seating arrangements to signage to floral arrangements. A full-service wedding planner and designer is meticulous in their attention to detail, ensuring that nothing is overlooked and that every aspect of the wedding reflects the couple's unique style and personality.

  6. Problem-Solving Abilities: No matter how well-planned a wedding is, unexpected issues can arise. Professional wedding planners and designers are skilled problem solvers who can handle any last-minute hiccups with grace and efficiency. Whether it's a vendor no-show or a sudden change in weather, they have the experience and resources to find a solution quickly, ensuring that the wedding day runs smoothly.

“In summary,” Brittany says “while DIY wedding planning may seem appealing at first glance, the benefits of hiring a full-service wedding planner and designer far outweigh the initial cost. From expert guidance and time-saving convenience to stress reduction and creative excellence, investing in professional assistance ensures that your wedding day is everything you've dreamed of and more.”

There are, obviously, many factors to consider while planning your wedding day and the thousands of available checklists online can make it seem even more overwhelming. There isn’t one script to follow when creating such a personal event, but hopefully these 5 “regrets” will not be ones that you have after your big day.

How To Pick a Wedding or Elopement Photographer

Planning a wedding requires making a lot of decisions, and if buyer’s remorse wasn’t already a thing when you bought those tacos last week for $15, how much more stressful to spend thousands of dollars on a single vendor for your wedding day.

How to choose a wedding photographer, bride and groom dancing

You could spend days, or even weeks, flopping between options, meandering back into a google search, or staring blurry-eyed at reviews, but at the end of the day you still need to make a decision on your wedding photographer. So how? How do you make sure that you choose the right wedding photographer when there are so many options?

The decision may seem overwhelming and you may not know where to start in selecting the perfect photographer for your wedding day, but by taking a few steps you can be sure to find a photographer that you can trust with capturing the most important memories of your wedding day.

Step one: Decide on style

Before seriously looking for a photographer you need to know what you are looking for. So, what is your style? We all have photos that specifically stand out to us for all kinds of reasons. It might be the candid ones that you are drawn to, or perhaps it is the dramatic show-stoppers that catch your eye. The question you need to ask is “why?”. What is it about these photos that you love? Is it the raw storytelling nature of the photo? The nostalgia? The emotions that they stir? Whether it is the moment, or the location, or the people that a photo captures, the most important role it plays is putting you back into that moment. You want to feel what you felt all over again. You want to experience the location and remember the moments that you shared with the people you love. So, when you are looking for your photographer, look beyond the trends and consider whether the photos elicit emotion, capture moments and tell the story of a wedding in a creative way. This is what will be timeless. This is what you will want when reliving your wedding through the photos.

How to choose a wedding photographer, bride and groom portrait

Of course, we all have preferences when it comes to colours and styles and overall look of a gallery. Do you prefer a darker, more moody look, a bright and airy look, or a more natural look? Whatever your preference, a photographer that shoots within any of these “styles” can either tell a story or not through the photos. They can either capture the emotions and candid moments or fall short- so look for this when considering a photographer regardless of which style you prefer. How do you do this? That leads up to step two.

How to choose a wedding photographer, bride and groom in antique car
How to choose a wedding photographer, bride and groom black and white
How to pick a wedding photographer, bride and groom dancing at golden hour

Step two: look through some galleries

It may seem obvious, but in order to know what you’re getting you need to look at some photos. Websites are a great place to start with this. Photographers with a lot of experience should have a lot of photos on their site and there should be a lot of photos from a lot of different events. Watch for diversity in their work, different kinds of locations, different parts of a wedding day etc. Especially consider your own venue and look at galleries through this lens considering whether the photographer has photos that show a similar atmosphere to your own venue. Notice I didn’t say the same venue- while this could be considered an extra bonus if they have samples from your own venue- an experienced photographer will be prepared to photograph in both familiar and unfamiliar locations without any problem, so instead watch for similar kinds of locations.
Don’t forget to check them out on socials as well as you will likely find some more recent work there.

Step three: Check out the Reviews

How to pick a wedding photographer, rings detail shot

I am a review browser myself. I stand by the fact that you can learn a lot about a service or product by reading reviews and this is no less true when it comes to picking a wedding or elopement photographer. When reading reviews try to find third-party sources where a client can review a photographer directly. A couple of examples of this would be Google or Wedding Wire. This can ensure that you are getting an uncurated snapshot of couples’ experiences with the photographer. That said, do not disregard the review section on the photographer’s website as well. Not every couple goes through the process of leaving a review on a third party site and some just send it to the photographer directly. You can get a more robust perspective by checking out as many reviews- from as many sources- as possible. Although, as with most service reviews, you will likely get a good instinctual sense after reading just a few reviews.

Things to watch for:
Did couples receive what they expected? Did they receive it in a timely manner? Did the photographer go above and beyond in making a couples’ experience great?

Step four: consider your budget

One thing to consider at this time is budget. It is important to set a realistic budget for every element of your wedding. You can look up averages in your area and that can be a good starting point, but ultimately you need to ask yourself what is most important to you? For example, you might be a musician or just a music connoisseur and find the music, DJ, or dance party to be the most important aspect of your wedding day to you. Or perhaps you are a foodie and so the meal becomes paramount - your budget will likely reflect this one way or another.
When it comes to budgeting for your photographer this becomes a challenge for a few reasons. The primary one being that photography budgets can range dramatically! You are not really just spending money on one aspect of your wedding day when it comes to your photographer. They are there to capture all of the moments, all of the details, and all of the emotions of a wedding day. It is through the photos that you will re-experience your dance party, recall the meal and decor, and relive the moments and memories from your wedding day. How do you put a price of this? (okay now this sounds like a Mastercard commercial).
This is why the individual budgets for a photographer can be so vastly different from each other- everyone puts a different dollar value on these memories. So many different aspects go into why a photographer is priced at what they are. Experience, knowledge, confidence, and creativity are just a few examples of reasons one photographer would be priced higher than another even when offering a similar or the same package. So, after you find “the right” photographer for you, perhaps develop a realistic budget based on this. At the end of the day, in some way or another, we all get what we pay for. Don’t just look at price and package when comparing photographers- consider all of the above and, I would contend, most importantly whether or not your personalities mesh. Which leads us to step five.

Step five: Meet with them and see if you Jive

This is, without question, the most important thing to consider when selecting a photographer: “Do you get along with them?” Do your personalities mesh?
On your wedding day you will spend a significant amount of time with your photographer. In some case, you might even see them more than your see your new spouse! So you want to be sure that you jive.
Your photographer’s presence is directly impacting your experiences on your wedding day. If your personality and your photographer’s do not mesh and you feel awkward around each other then you will feel this in your interactions on your wedding day and this will seep into how you remember those moments.
An experienced photographer will make you feel comfortable and at ease throughout the day while someone you don’t jive with or lacks experience will negatively affect your wedding day experience.
So, meet with your photographer and see if you jive. This could be in person, grabbing a coffee or beer, or, fairly commonly at this time, virtually. Either way, an important way to see if you are comfortable with them is by asking questions. Specific questions about your wedding day is important, but also general ones about them as well. A few examples of these kinds of questions would be “what do you see as your role on a wedding day?” or “why did you get into wedding photography”?

Things to consider:
Do they have experience? Are they confident? Are they knowledgeable (You could determine this during your meeting or through their site- Do it provide a lot of information?

Step six: Have an engagement session

Finally, if you are still uncertain about the photographer, consider doing an engagement session with them as a trial run. After all, an engagement session is a great idea anyway (check out my blog post here for why you should).

How to pick a wedding photographer, creative engagement photos downtown

Interested in learning more about Joey Rudd?

Joey Rudd has been taking wedding and elopement photos in the Ottawa area professionally since 2011. Since then, he has been honoured to be recognized as one of Canada’s best wedding photographers by the Professional Wedding Photographers of Canada as well as the recipient of the platinum award for the most unique wedding photo for three years. He has a passion for weddings of all sizes and has been recognized as one of the go-to elopement photographers in the Ottawa area.

If you are looking for beautiful, authentic photographs that capture your emotions and memories from the most special moments in your life, drop me a line! Let's see how we can work together to capture these timeless memories for you.

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How to choose a wedding photographer

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Should we do an engagement photo session?

Engagement sessions have a reputation of being extra.

Let me convince you otherwise. You might be on the fence about an engagement session for any number of reasons. Typically, if a couple decides to pass on an engagement session it is because they either don’t see the point or they are concerned about them being awkward.

should we do an engagment session
engagement pictures, should we get them done

Engagement sessions, however, have many benefits.

They are a great way to get to know me better as well as to become more comfortable with having your photo taken. You will spend a significant amount of time with your photographer on your wedding day and you will want to make sure that you are comfortable with them. Hopefully, at this point, you have already realized that I am a great fit for your wedding, but it is always a great idea to spend some time together before the wedding through an engagement session.

If you are like most people, the idea of having your photo taken by a professional can be quite intimidating. After a few minutes into an engagement session almost everyone feels much more at ease about the idea of getting their photos taken.

On top of these and other benefits -like getting some kick-ass photos of the two of you as a couple (you know you need more than those blurry selfies on your phone), if you are still not convinced, let me tell you, we have fun!

If you would like to see some sample engagement photos you can find those here.

Should we do an engagement session
Casual Downtown Engagement

Casual Downtown Engagement Session

Check out this adorable parking garage engagement session